Whether you’re a mother, grandmother, dog mom, or mentor, crazy things happen all the time when you’re a Mom. This May, SHEbd hosted a giveaway and asked women to tell their funniest Mom stories.
Read our pick of the top five!
We were sitting at the kitchen table with our 3 year old daughter and some out of town friends who have decided not to have children. They enjoy kids for short periods of time. Totally understandable. We were eating pasta and my daughter is enjoying taking everyone’s socks off under the table. Half entertaining, half annoying. At least that’s the vibe that I’m getting from our guests. We calmly ask our daughter to sit down and eat her pasta dinner, which she finally resolved to do, making us feel like successful parents. As she began chewing her spaghetti, she started showing signs of a sneeze coming on…short, gasping inhales, followed by an emphatic sneeze with a mouth full of pasta. Not only did she projectile eject the contents of her mouth, but a tendril of spaghetti made its way up the back of her throat, through her sinus and out her nose. To the horror of our guests, I pulled the dangling noodle from her nose.. and pulled… and pulled, for what seems like forever. I placed the noodle on her plate, and turned to look at our guests who were clearly resolve on their decision to never have their own children.
During Easter this year we were in quarantine so I was not able to get the usual plastic eggs which we fill and hide around our garden from the “Easter bunny.” I guess I could have ordered them online but you know how things go and one day blends into the next and before you know it, it’s too late. Long story short, the night before Easter I went into my daughter’s room and stole the eggs that she had carefully kept from last year. After the annual Easter egg hunt and the joyful unwrapping, she went to her room to put her new eggs and toys away. Of course, she saw that her old eggs and toys were missing and came back with a very long face. I asked her what was wrong, and she said sorrowfully, “I think the Easter bunny also can’t leave his house so he just had to borrow my old eggs.”
My mom who is totally blind has the greatest sense of humor. We were discussing an accident where my nephew had cut the tip of his finger. To which my mom asked “which finger? This one?” And held up her middle finger to flip us off. She is very conservative as a woman and so this was a shock to see but she’s always taken her disability in stride. She’s an amazing philanthropist and dedicated her life to the service of others until being diagnosed with stage four colon cancer. She still serves when she can but she’s love anything CBD as she uses cannabis products to manage her pain.
I was complaining to my husband that I was feeling burnt out. My two year old grabs my cheeks and says, “Mommy, you should put on some sunscreen!”
My mom has always thought of different ways to get her point across. When you have three girls, close to the same age, growing up we fought about everything from who tells the guest how to get somewhere in town to, of course, our favorite clothes…even if we hadn’t worn them in years. I’m the youngest of the three and one day when we were younger, probably early teenage years, I remember sitting in my moms car screaming, “shut up” back and fourth to one another. My mom HATED when we said this, but simply asking us to stop just wasn’t working, so she thought of her own way. My mom then says, “HEY HEY…We do NOT say shut up in this family! WE say SHUT THE HELL UP!” Now that worked! All of us were completely silent and then burst out laughing. My mom has always known ways to crack us up all while teaching us valuable lessons. I don’t know what I’d do without her. She’s my best friend.